Starting over, finding forever

Five Years of us.

Five years of marriage.

Our first big milestone.

It’s wild how much life we’ve conquered in such a short span of time. Blending and bonding our children. Growing and caring for our fifth baby. Buying a house. Grieving loved ones passed. Surviving broken bones, surgeries, and every kind of youth sporting event imaginable. Learning patience and how to fight fairly, without the ugly. Choosing softness. And those kisses. 😍🔥

But once upon a time, we were two strangers. Two people carrying our own disappointments and heartbreaks. God knew what we didn’t, and for His provision, I’m forever thankful.

I was an unexpected single mama to a 5, 4, and 2-year-old. I packed up myself and three babies and moved to a brand new state. I started a new job and worked on turning a small apartment into a home. My goal was to buy a house within a year and give my kids a backyard again.

I pictured getting a dog. Pictured monkey bars for kids, flower and veggie garden, watching my babies grow. The picture did not include a man. No. Definitely not a man.

Divorce had been shocking. Remarriage was even more unimaginable. My plan was simple: me, my precious babies, a boxer dog, and a garden I’d grow. I knew the life ahead of me. It felt solid.

And honestly? I was doing well. I was making friends and healing my heart. My days were spent pouring everything into keeping my kids emotionally and physically healthy. Praise and worship at church became my anchor. And although “single mom life” had seemed intimidating in theory, it was surprisingly easier and more joyful than I expected. I liked it. The kids and I began to flourish.

Before moving to South Carolina, I had assumed a woman with 3 kids would be run from. A definite pass in the dating world. I very quickly found out that to grown southern men- being a mama was NOT a deterrent. "You got kids? My truck can fit a car seat. You carry goldfish AND can cook? I love sunday supper after church. We can swing by my Mama house after." Instant family seemed just fine much to my surprise. I suppose my skinny jeans and experimenting with blond highlights didnt hurt either. 🤣 But surprisingly, I began being asked out. It was flattering for sure. Even healing in a way after the rejection divorce brings. Who doesn’t like feeling desirable? But every time, I always said no. Romance had no place in my world. I even considered wearing a fake wedding ring just so I wouldn’t be asked. I didn’t want a man complicating my life. My kids were thriving. I wasn't crying anymore. My life felt good. Really good.

And then came December 11th, 2019. The day everything shifted.

I worked in senior housing as a social worker. One particularly stubborn tenant was having escalating difficulties with a neighbor. To prevent eviction, I was pulled in to help and ultimately needed to contact the tenant’s emergency contact, his son, Shane.

That day was chaotic from start to finish. I was anxious to wrap up my work and pick up my kids. They were always the goal of my everyday. If I could just get thru work and back to my babies for park, dinner, bedtime snuggles.

Enter: a 6'2", brown-haired, blue-eyed man with tattoos.

Oh. My. Gosh. 😍 tattoos. That camo hat. Those blue eyes. He was CUTE.

But there was something else. It was like I recognized him instantly, yet I had never seen him before.

We tried with the property manger to settle his father’s situation. When in middle of conversation, he stopped and asked, “Have we met before? You look really familiar.”

I shook my head no. “I’ve only been in South Carolina six months. I'm not from around here.”

He nodded and we went back to handling the issue.

But when he left? I immediately texted several of my friends. “He should have recognized his next wife.” 🤣

My friends were stunned. What? Miss ‘never, ever, nope’? Calling someone my next husband? It didn’t make sense. It seemed absolutely ridiculous. And yet, I wasn't really joking.

It would be another month before Shane asked me out. Thanks to some fatherly nudging from his dad. Who insisted I was the one for Shane. After our 1st date, Shane's dad decided we might as well just get married. Tomorrow. Even better, today. “If you don’t marry that girl, someone else will. And you’ll lose her." This went on to be repeated to Shane over and over for the 10 month it took him to finally agree with his dad. It took way to long in Stanley Posey opinion, but Shane got there. He proposed on bended knee, in my apartment living room with my kids, his 8 yr old son, his dad, and my grandma. I absolutely said yes. 😍

For me, trust took time to build while we dated. But the knowing we were meant to be together was instant. From the moment I met him, my heart recognized him. It felt ridiculous to my mind, but for my heart, it was as if I had found something I hadn't even known I was looking for.

Five years later… here we are.

Stronger. Better. Softer.

A blended, bonded, beautifully chaotic family that God stitched together in ways only He could.

I didn't know love could reach this depth.

Till my last breath. Even then.

Happy 5th wedding Anniversary love. ❤️