Strength in the softening

 The power of a praying woman is not something to be taken lightly. Too often, prayer becomes a last resort button pressed only when we are hurting, confused, or desperate for God to fix what has fallen apart. Then, once the storm settles, we slip back into living life on our own terms… until the next crisis hits.

But what would happen if we entered the new year differently?

What if we dedicated the areas of our lives, our homes, our work, our bodies, our relationships to honor the Lord from the start? What if we chose to live with grace, peace, and patience before life demanded it? At what point did everyday living become an emergency? When did survival mode replace purpose?

Maybe it is time to stop clinging to life by the edges and allow God to center us again. To know His voice in the everyday. To reach for Him in the quiet, not only in the loud.

Prayer is a lifestyle, not a panic button. And I know I make better choices when prayer goes before my reaction.

I am married to a good man, one I love from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. Even on the busiest of days, he can take a deep breath and goosebumps run down my arms. I am absolutely swoon worthy over him.

But he still makes me angry sometimes. He has hurt my feelings more than once. And in those moments, I always have a choice.

I can pick up a sword and fight back like a man, raise his defenses, turn us into enemies, and make the disagreement about who wins and who loses. I have chosen that path a time or two and we both lose every time.

Or I can pray.

In the heat of the moment, my prayers are not elegant. They sound more like:

“God give me humility to submit to this fool, I mean this man You have given me.

Give me humility to submit in all things.

Holy Spirit guide him. Give him openness and direction.

Jesus give me grace to respect my husband in our home. Let peace settle over my emotions.

Help me have self control to love him whether he deserves it or not.

God guide my actions.

God give me humility. Please sweet Lord give me humility.

Omg Jesus let me be patient.” 🤣

Sometimes I send my best friend a frustrated text in the middle of it too. 🙃

But even then my touch still holds affection. My words stay quiet. My actions remain caring. I still pack his lunch. I still make his breakfast. Because it is difficult but important to remember: I am not the Holy Spirit in my husbands life. I am his helper.

Women often use the phrase “we need to be on the same page” as a gentle way of taking the lead in their marriages. But the fruit of that is almost always the same: resentment in the wife who unintentionally steps into the role of mama, and defeated avoidance in the husband who eventually stops leading because he is not heard anyway.

Frustration. Disconnect. Burden.

Lather, rinse, repeat.

It is exactly how our God given purpose gets distracted. Both people step out of the roles God created them for, and everyone pays the price.

The truth is, he does not always see what you see. He probably is not as skilled in household management as you are. Maybe it feels easier to step around him and get it done yourself. Maybe you just do not have time for foolishness today, and his way throws off your schedule. Makes your list longer. Suddenly dinner is burnt, the laundry has mildewed and has to be washed again, and the late field trip form is missing again.

You are yelling for help, frustrated at the chaos created by the very children you would give your last breath for. Overwhelmed. Anxious. And not at all how you intended the day to go.

The beautiful thing is that one small shift in our heart can change the entire atmosphere of our home.

We were never meant to run ourselves ragged. Our purpose is to be the helpmate God created us to be. We are not designed to carry every burden on our shoulders. We are designed to speak life into our husbands. Our words reach his heart in a way nothing else can.

A man who feels respected by his wife pauses to hear her.

A man who knows he is valued rushes to take weight off his wife’s shoulders.

Men are wired to fix things. They naturally approach life with solutions. It will be different than how you would do it. But admired men bring that multiplied back to their wives. They want to please the woman who believes in them. And the surprising part is how quickly he learns your preferences when you are not micromanaging his every breath.

Letting him lead does not mean losing your voice. It means softening it so it can be fully heard. Respect amplifies your words, not silences them. And when a wife speaks with grace, her husband listens with his whole heart.