It’s Not Convenience, It’s Consistency

Recently, I was texting with a dear friend about parenting. And it reminded me of a situation a few years ago with my son Jackson.

He was in 4th grade at the time and he was and still is an excellent student. Straight A's always and he tends to be the first kid in class finished with assignments. This day however, much to my surprise, I received a text from his teacher. She explained to me that Jack was being disruptive, uncooperative about his writing prompts, and just generally a poor attitude the whole morning. She said it was uncharacteristic of him and she asked for me to speak to him later that evening to avoid another day like that morning had been.

That’s not a text any parent wants to receive. I was heavily disappointed at the behavior. Everyone has a bad day sometimes, including kids. I have always believed in a zero tolerance policy for children disrespecting an adult. But I also know that people, including children, are always in need of grace. And it seemed my son needed some assistance in rising to who God called him to be.

I have been a working mom, as I was then. And I have been a stay at home mom, as I am currently. But I have never been a mother too busy to aid in character development. "You get worked out, where you show out" has long been my motto.

So I clocked out of my office to take a lunch break and drove to the school. Once I arrived, office staff pulled him out of his related arts period and brought him to me. They chuckled a little as I explained I would only need him a few mins to help with an attitude adjustment.

My son came to the office and seemed slightly surprised to see me. I told him that I had heard he was having a difficult day. He explained he didn't want to do writing today and he hated ELA. I told him that it happens. Some days you don't feel like doing it. It’s normal to feel frustrated. But what wasn’t allowed was ugliness.

So my son did 40 push ups in the school lobby.

When he was finished, I gave him a hug and I told him that I expected him to apologize to his teacher and not disrespect her further. I also expected him to not disrespect himself or fellow students by interfering with learning again.

As I drove back to work, I prayed for my son. That he learn endurance. That he understand that a bad day doesn't give permission for bad behavior. I prayed that he be a warrior for Jesus. And I prayed that God guide me in the character development of not only Jackson, but all my children.

I remember that being a 3rd cup of coffee day for me. 🙃

Later that afternoon, I watched him get off the school bus and walk to my car. He made eye contact with me and sheepishly grinned. He came to the car and gave me a kiss on my cheek.

"Mama, I did have a better day."

"I'm glad to hear it kiddo."

He got in the car and started to laugh.

"Mama, I can't believe you came to school."

I laughed with my boy that made me a mama. And I promised him that for his whole life, I will never be too busy to help him. Whether that is in character development, his favorite snack after a long week, or just a listening ear.

Parenting is rarely convenient. It’s early mornings, sleepless nights, and middle of the day treks to school. Careers pay bills, provide needs, and develop identity. But your boss would have you replaced before the day was over. Show up for your child when they need it and how they need it. They are your most valuable client.

And they learn more in the consistency than they ever could in the convenience.